Posted 20 hours ago

Not Nice: Stop People Pleasing, Staying Silent, & Feeling Guilty... And Start Speaking Up, Saying No, Asking Boldly, And Unapologetically Being Yourself

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It’s saying what you really think, expressing how you really feel, and sharing what’s true for you in that moment. it is the door in a wall you built up so high for years and decades and now the only way out is through. One of my favourite parts of the book is when Sophie overcomes her fears and stands up for herself, which is an empowering moment for her and anyone reading this book who may be experiencing something similar themselves. Nice guys" are highly inhibited - they need to start acting and speaking BEFORE they think; they are way too much in their heads, which makes it difficult for others to connect to them.

Honestly, it's more honest to be direct with your feelings; trying to cover up how you feel is manipulative. Finding out they were wrong is a difficult position to be in for someone who isn’t in touch with their emotions. You can tell he is ‘reading’ the text but he also ad-libs and inserts tone and words that add to the natural flow of the narration. This includes constructive strategies to handle conflict rather than avoiding it, and saying 'no' where necessary. If you're looking for lots of swoony moments and sweet romantic conversations you'll have to be patient with this book.Not Nice is for people like myself who struggle to be assertive and direct and tend to take the more polite route, often at our own expense. It is not authorized, approved, licensed, or endorsed by the aforementioned interests or any of their licensees. I have actually bought the hard copy too so I can read it and do the tasks when I’m not driving to work!

You can choose to ignore it but that doesn’t make you bold and authentic; it makes you a bit of a jerk. This authenticity allows others to see and know the real you, which allows you to really feel love and connection. The author uses engaging stories, humor and openness to teach you how to say "no," stop your people-pleasing habits, and reduce worry. it took him like 4 pages to go from very awkward silence and one word answers to absolutely spilling his guts?i journaled more while reading this than i have in literally years because i wanted to really engage with the material and i found so much hidden under the surface that i didn't even realize i was dealing with. If your looking for a quick read motivationaal book ,skip this one but if you need to make a change and get more confident this is the book !

the writing was a bit cheesy and I was skeptical of some of the stuff he said about gender and psychosomatic illnesses, but I’ll let that be. I felt like he was mirroring everything I was struggling internally with and the logic and exercises he shares are so helpful and insightful to me. Especially because given how massive the book is, you'd think their would be some seriously deep analysis of the topics brought forward. I appreciate that it's pretty straightforward and yes almost cliche, but it still easily held my attention.

However this resonated with me because people’s choices to feel good or bad is like I said A CHOICE, that I have nothing to do with. so she pegs him as gruff and emotionally unavailable after about 10 seconds so… why… did he ask her out? And yeah, she doesn’t talk about herself, but he claims he’s asked her allllll these questions to get to know her….

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